Sorry 4 The Wait

So, apparently Lil Wayne's new mixtape dropped today. I haven't had the chance to listen to it in the proper context (I'm at work right now), but it's not as bad as every one is making it seem. The songs he remixed all have dope beats, so if what he's saying is wack I probably wasn't paying him any attention anyways. Prime example, "Grove St Party" ft. Lil B; every one says that's the absolute worst song on the album, but all I do is listen to the beat anyways (it's sick). But Lil B's verse just came on, yeah HE SUCKS, but oh well.

On to more important things...

40. What's the biggest lie that you tell yourself?

The biggest lie that I tell myself is definitely that I don't care. I use that phrase so much, I've convinced myself that I actually don't care. But in all actuality, I DO care, in fact I may care a little too much.

41. What do you think is missing in your life?

There are a few things missing from my life, but I hate to use that wording. Techincally they aren't missing, they just haven't arrived yet.

But since I realized I didn't really answer the question (I noticed that I am really good at beating around the bush, avoiding answering questions I don't necessairly want to answer) I can do that now. If I had to narrow it down to three things then I would say I am missing (1) money, (2) a love interest, and (3) soccer

42. What do you think was the biggest injustice ever done to you?

That is a really good question. I know injustices happen to me all the time, but I tend to just accept them. I would rather an injustice happen to me than to someone else (expecially someone I care about) because I know that I am tough enough to fight through them. However, the one injustice that I will never forget happened in high school during soccer try outs. I felt like every one was against me, I had something to prove to them, and I did. Obviously not, however, to my dismay I didn't make the team. Instead, in my place was a girl who played for a bronze-level team, and someone who I had personally played against several times. I was visibly more talented than her, yet she still got to put on the school's jersey. I swore I would never play for them, and I held my word. When my mom encouraged me to try out again the following year i refused, I was still hurting. And by the time the next try out season came I no longer had aspirations of continuing with soccer at high school level. I eventually quit all together the end of my junior year, and focused on track and field. I can still feel the sting today of not making the team, my one dream had been crushed, ego bruised.

43. What type of person angers you most

The kind of person that angers me most is any person who is disrespectful. I don't mean this in the same underlying context of most hood fights. Rather, I am referring to any moment in which a person is being blatantly rude to someone, whether it is a peer, elder, or authoritative figure. I especially am angered by people who are stubborn and neglect to be considerate of any and all parties involved in a situation. There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind, being honest, frank, etc. but there is a certain way that a statement should be phrased, and it definitely shouldn't be one sided.

I think the one thing that angers me most, however, is a close-minded person. Instead of insisting the world is a certain way, filling your heart with hatred and disapproval of anything that isn't such, people should fill their heart with love. The Beetles said it best, all we need is love.

44. Who never fails to make you feel good about yourself?

Any person that has ever insulted me has done just that. See instead of absorbing the negativity, it deflects off of me because I know two things. (1) It's just the opinion of one person, how insignificant! (2) If I believe the statement to be false, why would I let it affect me?

So, in a way, I am the one person who never fail to make me feel good about myself. I love me. No one can change that.

45. If you could start all over again, what would you study?

I love Comm. I wouldn't choose anything else, it's the best fit for me. But if I had to, I think I would choose to study something in medicine. That way I would have a secure plan, I have a concrete idea of what my future looks like. Then again, when have I ever really sat and planned my life? I'm all about going with the flow.

46. What type of intelligence do you wish you had: kinetic, visual, interpersonal, linguistic, or mathematical?

The only type of intelligence I can be certain that I have is mathematical.

Please excuse me while I research the others..

Okay, so I learned a few new things about myself. (1) I clearly have a good amount of kinetic intelligence being that I have excelled in athletics all my life. (2) I also have a good amount of interpersonal intelligence (being able to understand people).

I also learned that visual intelligence is something I probably should work on (this porbably explains why I hated geometry and can't draw!) Maybe if I work on my visual intelligence then I will be better with directions, that would be amazing.

And the most interesting thing that I discovered about myself, I am highly linguistically intelligent.

So to answer the original question, I have all types of intelligence, I just wish my visual intelligence was slightly higher.

47. What's your biggest pet peeve?

My absolute biggest pet peeve is loud chewers and/or drinkers. There is nothing worse than being able to hear ever crunch, chew, and swallow of your meal. It drives me absolutely crazy.

48. What was the one opportunity you always believed you missed out on?

The simple face that nothing immediately comes to mind says a lot. I would have a lot of nerve to complain about missing out on something considering all the things I've been given.

I must say, if there is one opportunity I missed out on, it was probably going to a normal high school. Going to an all girls' high school really makes for an entirely different high school experience than most. It would have been nice to go to a co-ed school, but I am pretty pleased with the experience I got out of St. Lucys... I even find myself missing it up there from time to time (crazy).

49. What do you like about yourself the most?

I think what I like most about myself is that I AM ME.

Dr. Susess said it best:
Today you are you that is truer than true.
There is no one alive that is youer than you.

What this all means is that even through everything that I have experienced during my 19 (almost 20) years on this earth, I manage to remain true to myself. Yes there have been times when I doubted myself, where I wished I could just give up. However, I knew that's not Alexis. I am the girl, excuse me, I am the woman that keeps on fighting. No matter the struggle, I know eventually I will get through it. And just when I think I can't go on anymore, someone or something reminds me that I have nothing to stress.

It's not always serious with me, I do enjoy my wild side. In fact I love my wild side, but let's not get into that.

oh hey

31. If you could be a fictional character from a movie or a novel, who would you want to be? Why?

Hmm, I have honestly never thought of ever wanting to be another character from a book. I am going to break the rules a little bit and choose from a television show. I would absolutely love to be Melanie from 'The Game'. Even though her life is dramatic (what can you expect she is a TV character), I love every thing about her. Oh, and I wouldn't mind sleeping next to Derwin every night ;)

32. What are you really bad at?

I am really bad at starting something and seeing it through until its finish. (hence why its taken so long to continue this list)

33. Who would you like to forgive and forget?

I would love to forgive a certain friend who has proven herself to be not only ungrateful, but also untrustworthy. Well let me rephrase that, I have "forgiven" her. In other words, I'm not really tripping off the past, but I don't know that I will ever be able to "forget". More like I am going to always remember her to use her as an example of people to look out for.

34. Do you often hear your inner voice? What does it usually tell you?

I hear my inner voice all the time. It usually is telling me the truth, no matter if it is what I want to hear or not. I have definitely been at war with my inner voice in the past.

35. When was the last time you cried without anyone seeing you? And why?

I couldn't tell you the last time I cried, not necessarily that it has been a long time. More so because it usually happens at the most random times, so it is hard for me to remember when (and usually why I am even crying). But if its up to me, it is almost always without anyone seeing me. I don't like when people see me cry, I don't like to be seen in such a vulnerable state.

36. What do you want people that meet you for the first time to think of you?

The only thing I want is for people to remember me, it can be for the simplest thing, but I want to leave a lasting impression. (preferably a favorable one)

37. What's your most striking physical attribute? Do you like it?

Well that's an easy one, and I think Big Sean said it best..

"Ass! Ass! Ass! Ass!...."

But it's true, my derrière is definitely my most striking feature.

Like it? Hell, I love it!

38. If you had the opportunity to go back in time and make a change, would you still want to have the same parents?

ABSOLUTELY!

Except I would suggest to them that they have more kids.

39. If you could go back in time and change things, how would you alter the last ten years?

I would definitely be smarter when it came to boys. And I would have never quit soccer.

40. If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today what would it be?

Well, the only real responsibility I had today was to go to work. And today just so happened to be one of my shorter/easier days so I didn't really mind going into work today. I guess the only other responsibility I have is to put gas in my car. I so wish I could get rid of that option. Not because I don't want to have gas in my car, but because I don't want to pay for gas. Even though it may be going down, gas prices are still expensive, and well.. I DON'T GOT IT.